Bones, Blood & Boohoos - Surgery & Recovery

    It's been a very drug-induced hazy couple of days. Here's what I can remember:
    Last Thursday, my mother-in-law (bless her heart) drove me to the surgery center at 5:45 am after I kissed my little family goodbye. I was the first scheduled surgery of the morning. The whole preparation process was pleasant. We chatted away while the nurse came in several different times to hook me up to an IV, have me sign some paperwork, ask me about my medical history, mark the hip where I would be having the surgery, etc. I wasn't nervous or anxious. My mother-in-law was great at putting me at ease. The nurse had me take some morphine (in pill form) so that when I was done with surgery it would have had time to work its magic. The anesthesiologist came in and asked me a few questions and then gave me an antibiotic through my IV line. A few minutes later, the surgeon came in and asked me a couple questions and gave us an estimate on how long the surgery would take. I was starting to have a hard time concentrating on what he was saying. The room started getting a little fuzzy around the edges. I hadn't noticed that the anesthesiologist had snuck back in and had given me a "happy" drug. Before I knew it, I was being wheeled out of the room and into another, much larger, room full of a lot of scary medical equipment and a lot of friendly nurses. The last thing I remember is . . . well, I actually can't remember much more after that.
    In the blink of an eye I woke up and I was in SO MUCH PAIN. The worst I've ever felt. Worse than labor. Worse than my first hip surgery. I was angry. I couldn't think straight and I was angry at the nurse who kept telling me to open my eyes. I wasn't ready to open my eyes. I wasn't ready to move. I wasn't ready for how much pain I would be in. I asked for my MIL. They said she left to go eat something to eat. They wanted to move me into a recovery chair on the other side of the room. I wanted to punch them in the face for thinking that was a good idea. They manhandled me out of the bed and into the chair. One nurse brought me an english muffin with pb&j and some juice. She told me I had to eat it before I could have any medicine for the pain. I really hated her. I ate it as fast as I could which wasn't very fast considering I fell asleep between each bite and woke up in horror all over again. About that time my MIL came back and she sat with me and held my hand. Once I had eaten everything, the nurse gave me a couple of pain pills to swallow. They weren't working fast enough. Furthermore, what was the point of taking morphine before the surgery if it was doing absolutely nothing for me?! After a while she gave me a fast acting pain medication through my IV (FINALLY) and I slowly started to feel better. After a couple more doses of whatever that magic liquid was, I felt good enough to get dressed. The surgeon came in and talked to me a little bit about what he found and what he did to fix it. Apparently he had tried to tell me all of this earlier but I was completely out of it. I don't remember it at all. He gave me some cool pictures that he took with his little camera while he was fixing me up.

In this first series you can't really tell much about what's going on. The top left photo is what's interesting. When he got down into my joint he couldn't see anything because it was full of blood. That's not normal. It took him 30 minutes to just to flush it out. He also flushed out the extra cartilage caused by synovial chondromatosis. You can't really see that from the photos unfortunately. 

All of the feathery looking muscle tissue in the two left photos is my torn labrum. It should be completely connected to my femur but it is obviously not. 

Here you can see the bone shaving process. Ouch!

The bottom two photos show the drill and the anchor (screw) as it is going in to my femur. The screw is permanent.

In these photos, the surgeon is threading through the anchor and tying down that labrum so it will heal properly.

This is what it looks like now that it's been repaired. That stitch will eventually dissolve. 

    He did a couple more things while he was in there that aren't in any of the photos like loosening some of my tendons to give me a larger range of motion. 

    I was worried about the drive home from the surgery center. It's a 30 minute drive on a good day with light traffic. I am really sensitive to anesthesia. It makes me incredibly nauseous. I didn't want to throw up in my MIL's car. She has leather seats. I also wanted her to still like me after this whole ordeal and you just can't come back from being in close proximity to an upchucker. Your relationship will never be the same. The night before surgery, one of the surgeon's assistants suggested I put a prescription strength motion-sickness patch behind my ear. It worked wonders. I didn't feel sick at all on the way home. With that fast acting magic stuff I wasn't in that much pain either. In fact, we ran a couple errands on the way home (good errands like getting a chocolate milkshake and picking up my son). My MIL got me all settled in bed and then took Emerson home with her so that I could rest. Michael came home from school after about an hour and waited on me hand and foot. He's such a good husband.
    Going to the bathroom was quite the ordeal. I don't know if it was because I just put my body through a lot of trauma or because I was high on pain medicine but I literally forgot what muscles you use to pee. I sat on the toilet for 30 minutes trying to make myself go. I could tell that I really had to go but no matter how hard I tried I just couldn't pee more than a trickle here or there. I was seriously terrified that the doctor had crossed some wires while he was down there and that I would never be able to pee normally again. This lasted for days! (For the record, I worked really hard and I can now pee like a normal person.)
    The next few days were more of the same. I slept a lot. My MIL watched the baby while Michael kept me company and worked on his homework and cleaned the house. I have to have my leg in a CPM (continuous passive motion) machine for 6 hours (3 sessions of 2 hours) a day. It basically just lifts my leg up and down. Prevents scar tissue build up in the joint. It can get pretty boring but I usually watch a movie or work on some homework while I'm passing the time.

    On Sunday, I was finally allowed to take the bandages off. I was a little scared at what I would find. When I took the bandages off after my last surgery I was surprised to find a HUGE incision with 25 staples. 

    The moment of truth came AND . . .

TA-DA!!!!

Only two tiny incisions. 4 stitches total. 

(My leg is swollen. Not fat.)

    On Monday, some girls from church came over to visit me and they all brought their little babies. It was really fun to have visitors. I loved it. They're going to come every Monday for the next little while. Really looking forward to it. 

    People have been so great about volunteering their time to watch Emerson while Michael's at school. Michael's cute little cousin comes over in the evenings and plays with the baby so Michael can get some homework done. 

    It's been really great having a little break from life. I get to be lazy and no one can judge me. :-) It also has been great to hear Michael acknowledge that taking care of a baby is so much work. I think he appreciates what I do even more. 

     Parts of this recovery are really hard though.  

1. Pain. That's obvious.
2. Not being able to hold, play with or pick up my baby whenever I want to. I'm jealous of all of these people who get to spend time with him. I can't have him on my lap more than a few minutes without getting really sore. 
3. Sleeping on my back. I hate sleeping on my back. I hate it. hate it.
4. Sleeping with Luna in the bed. She doesn't mean to but she often kicks me or tries to cuddle with me right where my incisions are. It's a horrifyingly painful way to wake up. 
5. Keeping up with school. I'm missing more than I planned on missing. I'll still be able to get things done on time I'll just have less time to do them and that stresses me out.
6. Physical therapy. It's brutal. I know the whole point is to build up your muscles and it goes hand in hand with the recovery process but it hurts. I didn't cry before or after the surgery. I didn't cry when I got home. I didn't cry when I threw up in the car two days ago BUT I sure did cry after just one exercise during my first PT session.

    It is very probable that I'll have to go through all of this again for my other hip. That is absolutely terrifying but how blessed am I that they have finally figured out what's wrong with me and how to treat it?! I am so amazed by the modern medicine and technology that made this surgery possible. It could have been a lot worse.

    I've still got a little over 3 weeks left on the crutches. I'm already starting to get super buff. I have lost 5 pounds since the surgery. Go me! I wouldn't suggest it as a mainstream weight loss approach however. There have got to be less expensive and less painful options out there. :-)

     Well, got to go. It's time for more pain pills and a nice long nap. 

Six months, Surgery & School

    I haven't updated the blog in a while. Emerson's closer to 7 months than he is to 6 months now. But life has been life lately which means I've been busy busy busy.
    Little guy had his 6 month check up yesterday. He's 19 lbs and 28 in. Doctor was concerned about his eczema (it's baaaaad) so we've changed his diet in hopes that it isn't caused by allergies. We're basically not buying the cheap stuff anymore. Ha. She said we could start him on mushed up big people food as well since he's got great muscle control. We tried some yesterday. . . he didn't like it.
    He's being stubborn about not wanting to hold his own bottle lately even though he's more than capable. He also isn't interested in sitting by himself because it's so much easier to lounge around. We've got him some toys that will hopefully spark his interest that he can only play with if he is sitting up. We'll see how it goes. He's going through a phase now where he likes to scratch everything. When he's ready to get up for the day he'll scratch the sides of the pack'n'play to let us know. He also prefers to scratch his toys rather than actually play with them. What a weirdo. He also scratches his face all day and all night long. No matter how short I keep his nails he looks like Edward Scissorhands all of the time.
    He likes to cuddle with blankets. But only fleece ones. It's so cute that he has developed an attachment to the ugliest blanket he has. It came with his crib bedding but it's something I didn't like from the beginning. It's yellow with a monkey on it. I mean, he has MUCH cuter blankets I would rather he love. But it is adorable that he has a preference that I can't do anything about no matter how hard I try. He will go to sleep on his own now though. Hurray! We just have to lay him down in his bed and he'll fall asleep with his blanket without crying or making much of a fuss. I'm in heaven about this. Naptime and bedtime were always such a battle. We had to let him cry it out a couple of times and now he's absolutely great at doing it all by himself.
    What else? He loves to suck on his toes. He giggles for us all of the time. He is addicted to TV. I'm not kidding. He loves Baby Einstein so much. He'll cry if we don't have it on nearly all of the time. I'm not sure if he'll turn out to be a genius or if we're rotting his brain out extra early. We try and get him out and about or focused on other things because we are legitimately worried that we are horrible parents because he watches so much TV. And it's the same 5 or 6 episodes over and over and over. Michael and I have them practically memorized. It could be worse, right? Right?!
    Most exciting of all, Emerson cut his first tooth TODAY! It's coming in on the bottom left. Michael felt it first. I'm a little jealous. It wasn't there yesterday!

    

    Isn't he just the cutest thing you've ever seen?! Took this today while we were out on a walk. I had to take landscape pictures for my photography class and he was such a little trooper even though it was cold and windy and we were out there forever.

    Photography class, you say? Yeah. That's because I decided that being an accountant would be boring. So, I'm going to try my hand at photography and see if I have the talent to turn it into a career. With all of this hard work and sacrifice we're putting forward for Michael to have a career that he really enjoys we decided it was only fair that I get the same opportunity. I know a lot of SAHMs are photographers who start their own businesses. And I think all of those ladies are extremely talented. I'm not saying that everyone needs to go to school to learn how to take great photographs but I happen to be in a position where I can go to school for it. So I am. Not only that, I want my children to know that college is important and how better to show them than by example? I know I've said that before but I really think that it's important. So, I'm taking a photography class, an art class and a math class this quarter. I love getting to go to school in the evenings. It's so fun to do something for myself completely by myself. I've already made a few friends in the photography program. Homework is something to get used to again but I love having something productive to work towards during the day.

    Michael is also busy with school. He's taking three really hard classes this quarter and has quadruple the amount of homework that I do. He is also still working as much as he can on the weekends. We don't really get to spend a lot of time together just the two of us but we're making it work. He has been so great with the baby in the evening while I'm at school. I always come home to a clean house, a baby in bed and dinner waiting for me. He makes me look bad sometimes. I never cook for him. Ha. 

   Our lives are about to get even busier because I'll be getting surgery next week. I'm really nervous. It's going to be a lot more involved that we originally thought. And a lot more painful. When I met with the specialist last month he confirmed that I do indeed have synovial chondromatosis in addition to several other problems. After looking at the MRI he also discovered that I have a labral tear, impingement and snapping tendon syndrome. So, although the surgery will be done arthroscopically and I will have minimal incisions (4 at the most but no wider than a thumbnail) a lot will be going on under the surface that will be intensely painful. From what I can understand, the doctor will flush out all of the foreign bodies (synovial chondromatosis) and then cauterize the surrounding tissue to hopefully prevent my body from making more. Then he'll do some bone shaving on both the head of my femur and pelvic socket (impingement) to keep the bones from tearing up the surrounding tissue. Then he'll repair the labral tear by anchoring to the bone (with a metal screw). Finally he'll lengthen the snapping tendon by making small cuts into it (but not all the way through) so it won't be as tight. They're going to have me on morphine for 5 days after the surgery and a bunch of other heavy pain meds for up to an additional 3 months. I have to put my leg in a CPM (continuous passive motion) machine for 6 hours a day for 3 weeks. I'll be on crutches for at least 4 weeks. I'm not allowed to drive for at least 3 weeks. I have to do physical therapy 3 times a week for 6 months starting 3 days after surgery. It'll be a year before I'm back to 100%. 

    I'm terrified about how we'll make this work with Emerson. Michael has school all day and I can't be left alone with him because I'm not even allowed to pick him up the first couple of weeks. My mother in law will be around to help the first couple of days but then she has to go to out of town for a week. We're going to have to rely heavily on our friends and members of our church to help us out. And through all of this I still have to go to school. We thought long and hard about putting the surgery off until Christmas break. But I am in so much pain on a daily basis that we both decided it can't be put off any longer. We'll make it work somehow. 

    I've stocked up on diapers, wipes, formula, baby food, you name it to make it easier on Michael and whoever we will have around helping us out. I'm worried that Emerson will be really negatively affected by this because I won't be able to play and cuddle with him very much. I'm scared that I'll go through all of this and I won't get any better. I'm worried that my school work will suffer or even worse that Michael's school work will suffer because he'll be so consumed with taking care of both the baby and me. 

    Gotta stay positive about it all though. Happy heals, right? 

    Look at the time! Between writing this update and stopping to entertain Emerson every 5 minutes I've wasted an hour and half when I should have been doing homework!!!